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40 Today

Today, I am 40. 

Today, at 6am I got woken up by three little excited angels. Singing, jumping and celebrating my birthday. It’s a little like Christmas morning. 

But it’s my 40 th birthday and my three little wise angels have excelled themselves this year

( they are a little older and a little wiser.)

The cappuccino tastes even better and the breakfast in bed was delicious. 

I am proud to be getting older because I get to see the miracle of watching my three little wise angels flourish.

They saved their pocket money to buy me three gifts:

A mug that says 40. 

A beautifully decorated bracelet that I absolutely love. 

And a beautiful scarf that so matches the bracelet. 

I am so proud today as I look at their little smiley, joyful faces. 

I am so proud to see how they have grown to be kind, patient and compassionate young people. I am filled with warmth and happiness. 

I wonder how I could  possibly be blessed  with such amazing people in my life. They make every day a miracle and a blessing. 

I want to thank God for blessing me with these three little wise angels to walk by my side.

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Set Us Free

It came in disguise

Lurking underneath the sandcastle where an innocent girl was rebuilding certain demolished parts of the castle

It was something dangerous and caning

The girl had seen her entire life hurt and betrayed

Every betrayal came in disguise 

She was an abandoned child

Her father died before she was born

No image of him was given to her

Her mother gripped by fear gave her daughter away

Her days were full of trials and tribulations 

But she had many dreams and her beliefs brought into being a life full success 

Yet the ghost of childhood continues to emerge in her life

What potion can she take

What magic word can she say out loud to free her from this beast 

She knows now that it wasn’t her fault but breaking the pattern is hard

He now comes in a spirit of love and gentleness

He comes with a good heart, but his words are deceitfully delicious to her soul

She lets herself believe that he cares

And no harm will come to her

She has one thing right 

No bruises to hide

But she feels powerless and strapped every time

She wants him, close, he has that magical way with her

Every time she escapes, he comes to meet her at the same place, the same time, when she’s rebuilding her castle 

His face 

His personality 

Different every time

He doesn’t just grab her by the hand

He is more sophisticated

He asks for permission 

She hopes that this time with his new face and personality he would love her, protect her from the darkness 

She thinks that maybe he would weep her tears when the nightmares comes back to hunt her

But instead he has plans of his own

She is just the little girl he needs to boost his ego

She knows how to take care of someone like him

She was well taught after all

He wants things to be discreet 

This sends her into obedience mode

He says gently but repeats it often

She thinks she can get out 

But finds herself inside a bird’s cage

Where she can’t touch the sand

She watches how her beautiful castle crumbles slowly

She is now loyal to him

He has no sense of direction 

No purpose, he is in a mess

He is afraid to leave the other woman who cannot fulfil his needs 

He is afraid of being alone, so he refuses to leave the other woman 

Everyone knows her

What would friends’ and family say

What disgrace 

How would the kids cope if he was brave enough to leave?

For the sake of the kids, he tells himself 

The girl in the cage will help, he thinks

She does for a while 

Then the other woman seduces him

And he leaves the girl in her cage

With lies, hurtful words

He is weak

If only he could leave the other woman 

Be free to start something better for himself 

Love himself 

Reconnect with himself 

Free to be a good role model for his sons and daughters 

Setting the other woman free, she too could make a better life for herself 

And he wouldn’t have needed to go out and find innocent girls to play with

Because they would be free to finish rebuilding the sandcastle and have a better future

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How to stop procrastinating and start achieving your goals

Is procrastination stopping you from achieving your goals?

Are you spending more time on social media or in front of the telly instead of tackling that job you have been putting off? If you could do something about the way your mind is causing you to procrastinate would you do it?

I specialise in coaching/mentoring people who struggle with procrastination. I am fascinated and passionate about helping others overcome procrastination because I experienced it in my personal and work life many years ago. I let many opportunities slip away until I learned how to unblock the negative thinking that caused me to procrastinate.

Coaching and mentoring can help you find answers, gain awareness and the strength to change your negative thinking into a healthy positive approach that will get you on the road to your goals.

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Learning to Grow Through Painful Challenges

It was one cold morning, I was driving my kids to school in my grey Kia Carens; the grey colour of my car reflecting the English weather spot on that Monday morning. My life was in pieces: the stress of my divorce, stress from studying for my postgraduate Certificate in Business and Executive Coaching, and stress from raising three young children without relatives around for support. So, when I failed my postgraduate Certificate in Business and Executive coaching in 2017 by 5%, it left me exhausted and broken inside.

The stress levels seemed eternally unstoppable. My only source of strength and escapism was to listen to motivational speakers, successful coaches and to self-coach. Listening to great men and women who had struggled through life and yet had become an inspiration to many. They filled me with hope as, slowly, I saw a way forward. I knew I was filled with overwhelming fear inside , but I had to show strength on the outside for the sake of my kids.

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Banana Hair-Mask Treatment

Have you got some overripe bananas that nobody wants to eat? Don’t throw them away. My kids love their fruits including bananas, but from time-to-time some gets left too long. When a banana or two is left over that is when I get to treat my hair.

My Afro hair is very dry, but a good banana hair- mask provides it with much- needed vitamins B6, C and also potassium.

Bananas are known to be really good for treating your hair and scalp. They also good for preventing and controlling dandruff.

I like to give my hair a good banana hair-mask treatment in the morning before having my shower.

All you need to make one are some overripe bananas, and, if you are feeling adventurous, you can add olive oil and coconut oil.

Here is what to do:

1.Put the bananas in the blender (adding the olive and coconut oil, if desired) Blend until it turns into a paste.

2. Apply the paste to your hair with a brush or your hands.

3.Wrap with a shower cap or cling film.

4. Leave to dry for about 20mins

4. Rinse your hair and condition as usual.

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Is baking soda good for hair removal?

There is quite a trend online about using baking soda for hair removal. Is it safe? It doesn’t necessarily follow that because baking soda is a cooking ingredient that it is a safe bet.

If you have ever used it on your skin or hair you will know it can remove build-ups of oil, soap or other products that you have on your skin already. It can also be a good exfoliant when used with caution. It can be helpful, for example, in getting rid of dry skin from your scalp or lips.

The question you need to ask yourself when venturing into using baking soda for hair removal is this: just because baking soda can be a good exfoliating agent, does that mean it is a good hair removal agent?

I have used baking soda to clean my oven and kitchen worktop, but I think using baking soda on your skin has some level of risk. Even though baking soda can be a good cleaning agent, I would tread carefully when it comes to using it on your skin. It can dry it out.  Baking soda may damage your PH balance which is about 5.5 and Baking soda PH is about 9. It is a strong alkaline.

So far as removing unwanted hair is concerned, I have tried it. It doesn’t work for me.

I know the attraction of baking soda is that it is cheap, but my recommendation is to shave or use a hair removal cream or learn to wax your unwanted hair.

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A Great Way to Treat Your Face

This treatment is suitable for both men and women. But we acknowledge that it has not been proven scientifically. But many health-conscious people and beauty blogs are into it.

I got into homemade beauty treatments because of my two daughters. I wanted them to treat their skin without damaging it.

An egg white face mask is good for treating acne, dry, oily and pallid skin.

I have to admit some of my homemade beauty and hair treatments haven’t always gone down well with my daughters 😂. I have been banned by my girls from making a particular hair gel.

They were embarrassed when gnats were attracted by the gel. They came home from school yelling and telling me how much they hated my homemade products. So, if you are using any homemade beauty or hair products on your kids make sure they don’t leave your house without first having tried them out for a reasonable amount of time.

And always do a patch test on any homemade or purchased beauty product to make sure you (or they) are not allergic.

If you want to read about what hair products my girls banned me from using why not leave a comment to request it. And if I get ten or more responses, I will write a post about it (and whilst you are about it, please click to subscribe.)

Now, before you use the face mask, I recommend that you:

1. Cleanse your skin with a good cleanser to remove any build- up of dirt or other nasties.

2. Exfoliate with your usual exfoliating product.

Here’s how to make your homemade egg, Vaseline and rice flour face mask.

Whisk together in a clean bowl 1 tbsp of coconut, 1 egg, 1 tbsp of rice flour.

Now

1. Apply the mask to your face using a face brush or your hands

2. Leave the mask on your skin for about 10-15minutes.

3.Give your face a quick rinse with lukewarm water to open your pores and to finish with quick splash of cold water to close the pores.

4. Pat dry.

5.Moisture your face as usual.

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How to recycle your wine bottles

I am not a big drinker of alcohol, but I love to have a nice glass of red or white wine (depending on what meal I am eating.) So, I don’t normally have many empty bottles around. But there are occasions when I throw quite big parties and have guests (before the lockdown) and I end up with a lot of ’empties’.

Often, I will wash the bottles and use them as candle holders, but there are only so many candle holders you need and so much space you have to put them.

However, in the spirit of wanting to save the planet earth, I came up with this solution. I wash the bottles and then pour dry grains into them: rice, semolina, lentils, couscous, popcorn (yes, we will count popcorn as a dry grain). It works really well. The bottles look nice, they keep the contents clean and free from creepy-crawlies and I have done my bit for the environment.

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How to use Fanta Can Ring-Pull to Save Wardrobe Space

I like my wardrobe to feel nice and look nice. Nicely pressed trousers, beautiful tops for an evening out, special dresses for special occasions all organised and ready to be selected for the appropriate occasion.

But what happens when your nice clothes don’t fit in your small wardrobe space?  Well, I faced this dilemma a while back. My wardrobe is small, and I have to confess to some laziness when it comes to organising it. But when I have times, I go into super-drive mode and I want everything to be just right. Everything in its place and a place for everything.

Super-drive mode usually comes out of the blue and can start at 4 in the morning and last until late at night. Well, it was during one of those super-mode days that I found myself struggling to hang everything in my wardrobe. I was drinking my favourite drink (a can of Fanta) trying to work out where to hang my outfits. Ah, I was holding the answer in my hand. I took the ‘ring-pull’ from the Fanta can and slipped it over the hook and neck of a coat hanger. Then I took another coat hanger and put the hook into the spare hole of the ring-pull. Two hangars taking the space of one. Being a Fanta drinker, I was able to quickly gather enough ring-pulls to double-up every coat hanger. Problem solved.

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How organised is your bag?

I love bags, my favourite designer is Jasper Conran. Whenever I can, I buy one of his bags. Oh my gosh, it feels so good. I am transported to heaven. However, it is not just Jasper. My kids know me so well that if we go to the shopping centre and there is a bag shop or bags on display anywhere, they pull me away.

I just love bags. I don’t buy a bag just because it’s pretty, it also has to be the right texture and it has to feel right for me, it is an extension of my outfit, it is an extension of me.

I do have a problem though organising my small bags. I get frustrated with their messy state. Finding my keys and lip gloss can be a nightmare.

I came up with an idea. I took an old fabric placemat and turned it into a purse organiser by folding it, pinning the sides, placing my items in it to measure the pocket lines and then sewing along the lines.

Now my bags are mess-free, and I can find my keys and lip gloss with my eyes closed.

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