When we start on our parenting journey, we go with it in blind love, I think. Would you agree with me on this? I will talk about it more later.
Your first child, you may have done a load of research and spoken to experienced parents, but nothing prepares you for when you are in the field, as I like to call it. They are helpful guidance and information you can learn from, but you miss some beautiful moments if you follow it to the latter.
Those beautiful moments are what keeps you motivated when the minds start to play tricks on you, ‘whispering in your ears that you are not good enough.’ I encourage researching and speaking to experienced parents but not to compare notice of how your child behaves or how you are behaving. Listen, read and let it go, and you have the wisdom inside of you that will help you handle the difficulties you are experiencing.
When your mental health is a problem, you can neglect or sometimes feel like you fail your child when you are not. There isn’t a quick fix, in my opinion, but there are ways that you can reduce the negative effect your mental health problem can cause you as a parent.
Let me ask you this question what does love mean?
The true meaning of love is “to give.” To parents have a genuine love for their children, we need to express it through our actions. If you love your child, then show it, and your child in return would learn true love and perform an act of kindness towards you by also showing it.
Raising children when you have mental health problems is difficult. You can’t always express to others what’s going on in your mind. It is why learning about the three different kinds of love will help create a better self-relationship and a better relationship with your child. Here are the three different types of love:
I mentioned that when we first start our parenting journey, we experience blind love – this is where we fall completely in love with our baby, child, and don’t filter any wrongdoings, our child is perfect, and we make an excuse for any faults. When in a state of blind love, we are not looking to change anything about them, but something can suddenly stop us from experiencing that blind love one day.
Conditional love is where we as a parent see our children faults and mistakes. Still, we do our best to ignore those faults and mistakes but look for the positive things our child has accomplished with this conditional love; our children may learn that the only way to be loved and receive affection from us is for them to change.
Unconditional love is what we should all work toward for ourselves and our children. With unconditional love, we see our children’s faults and mistakes, yet we still love them. The love we need to have is the here and now experience, not because circumstances tells us otherwise. As parents, we need to seek to love our children unconditionally, loving ourselves unconditionally.
When you have unconditional love for your children, the negative emotions that may come to trick you will not stand. When you have unconditional love for yourself, your mental health problem has no power over you.
Be aware of your faults/ mistakes and these of your loved ones and accept that it is okay you are perfect just the way are so other people.
You have the power to manage your mental health by loving yourself and your child unconditionally.